Keeping me sane
by darkness3
Summary: You and these letters make me survive this summer. If it wasn't for you... (Ginny POV)
1. a letter

Title: Keeping me sane  
  
  
Author: Me (lucia_at2001@yahoo.de)  
  
Rating: PG (just to cover my back)  
  
Disclaimer. Nothing belongs to me and I'm not making any profit. They belong to J.K. Rowling and she gets all the money for writing her books.  
  
Summery: It's the summer after GoF and Ginny tries to deal with everything that's going on by sending some letters.  
  
Notes: Hola! That's my first HP fic. I just thought I should give it a try. Please R&R and if anyone wants to be my beta reader please write me an e-mail. I'd really appreciate it 'cause English isn't my first language. Tell me if there are too many mistakes.  
  
  
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I wouldn't survive this summer if it wasn't for you and these letters. They are keeping me sane. I always needed to write about everything that's going on but I don't trust diaries anymore. Just thinking about them makes me shiver. It's probably ridiculous and childish but that's what I am, a child.  
  
So, I would completely understand if you decide not to write me anymore. I mean, I'm just little Ginny and if it weren't for my brothers you wouldn't even know that I exist.  
  
It's warm outside and they are wondering why I don't go out. But I just don't feel like it. It's the holidays and I'm supposed to have fun but I haven't. At least not really, not like Fred and George or Ron. My brothers always have something up their sleeves. I mean, you know the twins and their love for jokes. And I have to admit that they are quite amusing sometimes but they also can make your life a living hell. Not even the events with the Deatheaters could make them stop. And Ron has to suffer a lot this summer.  
  
It's probably a good thing. Mum and Dad need to be cheered up from time to time. They are worried. Of course they are. Bill and Charlie that far away and you-know-who is expected to be in Europe. Sometimes I fear that Mum's going crazy with worry.  
  
You once said that it has to be hard to be the only girl with six elder brothers. I blushed and brushed it away, saying that I could manage it. I was thinking about it and the truth is, that hard isn't the right word. I searched for the right word since then and yesterday I finally found it. Yesterday Percey had dinner with us and we were sitting around the table and pretended that you-know-who wasn't back. That everything was like it used to be. The twins were teasing Ron about the amounts of letters he gets from Hermione and Dad had one of his muggle-conversations with Percy and Mum. Nothing extraordinary happened but suddenly I knew which word I was looking for. It's not hard, it's lonely.  
  
It's kind of funny because I have six brothers and we always lived in a small house and most of the time I'm anything but alone but nevertheless I'm lonely. Does that make any sense to you?  
  
Hope to hear from you soon,  
  
Ginny  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
What will happen next?  
Anything at all?  
And who is the red-haired girl writing to? Any suggestions?  
  
Don't forget to review and please come back looking for more. 


	2. an answer

Note: Hi, it's me. No guesses until now. Come on people, please r&r!! Anyway, here's letter number 2.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Dear Gin,  
  
I'm sorry it took me so long to answer your last letter. It's just that I wasn't sure if I should inform one of your brothers about it or not. You don't feel too good and I think you should talk to them about it. But then I decided against telling them 'cause it's your decision to make.  
  
I'm in France and the weather is really bad. It has been raining for days. We are staying at the coast but the sea is as black as the clouds. And the time just won't hurry up. All I can do is trying to distract myself, trying not to think about the attacks and avoid the newspaper at any cost. Just like you said, pretending that nothings going on, living like I used to.  
  
I'm thinking about my future a lot. What's going to happen? What will I do? But I still have time to think about it, so I shouldn't worry.  
  
I remember the time I asked you about your six brothers. It was the night you couldn't sleep and came down to the common room in your night-gown. You didn't expect anyone to be there and were really embarrassed. You blushed like you always do and I simply laughed. I'm glad you didn't went back to your room then. We talked a lot that night, didn't we? I miss our late-night talks. They kept me sane all this time.  
You know me, normally I'm not like that, I mean I'm never that serious. But I needed it from time to time and you were there to share these times with me. So, my little one, never say that you are just a child because even a child can be important to someone.  
  
Truth to be told, you are the last person I thought I would talk to about these things. But I couldn't have chosen anyone better than you.  
  
Keep care,  
xxx  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Why the hell isn't this letter signed like any normal letter?  
Why does Ginny have a friend nobody knew about?  
And am I insane??  
  
So, please review or write me (lucia_at2001@yahoo.de). 


	3. Nothing's like it used to be

Note: Thanks to those who reviewed (bandersnatch, sky blue, silverwolv20)! Nice guesses! Really. But I'm sorry, they are all wrong. Any more guesses?  
  
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It's night, I'm freezing and I have a fever. I know that I probably should go to sleep but I can't. I know that I'll have bad dreams and I really don't want to have bad dreams.  
  
A nightmare was also the reason why I came down to the common room that night. And it was the reason I didn't went up to my bedroom as soon as I saw you. Even though I was embarrassed, I couldn't have gone back to the dark room. You said that I blushed and just reading this in your last letter made me turn red. I hate it. I feel so silly when I blush. I wish I could control it somehow.  
  
I remember that one of my brothers said that you were going to France this summer. I envy you. I'd like to get out of here too. I don't care where to, just away. I don't really feel like I belong here. Yesterday when I was putting the dishes away I watched Fred, George and Ron playing a new exploding card game the twins invented two weeks ago. Then I suddenly felt dizzy and nearly smashed a plate. Clumsy me! But Mum saw it and she told me to go to bed because I had a fever. You can't imagine how relieved I was just because I didn't have to watch my brothers having fun anymore.  
  
Today Dad came home after being away for two days. He has to work at the Ministry all the time, just like Percy. And when he gets home he's just so tired and so exhausted. I've never seen him like that. He has bags under his eyes and he's really pale. And he can't stop fighting with Mum. It's unbearable. Everything is so tense because of these attacks. I want things to go back to normal.  
  
I want Dad to talk about fascinating muggle-things, I want the twins making fun of Percy and I want Mum to be like she used to. But she worries so much about Bill and Charlie and all the others. She sighs a lot these days and we don't even dare to speak normal anymore. Everything we say, we say in a low voice. It's just so awfully quiet at the Burrow since this last big attack in Hungary.  
  
Sometimes I wish that school would start sooner. Then Mum wouldn't have to worry so much. She always says that Hogwarts is the only save place she can think of. I always nod but I really don't think so. I mean so many horrible and dangerous things have happened there. Cedric died, Tom Riddle nearly killed me and Harry got attacked by the Dark Lord several times.  
But nevertheless, it will be better once I'll be there again. I won't have so much time to fill, I won't have enough time to feel lonely. I just fear the nights.  
  
Love,  
Ginny  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Will there be more attacks?  
Will Ginny get better?  
What will Hogwarts be like, now that you-know-who is back? 


	4. Get well soon

Note: Hi, it's me again. And here's the next letter from .......... (who the hell is it?!?) Well, this question will probably answered the next time. (Until then, keep guessing!!)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Oh Ginny,  
  
I don't really know what to answer. I can't believe that everything changed just like that. I mean, I always knew that this year will be special but I never thought that it would be like this. But I guess nobody did.  
  
You've got a fever? I'm so sorry to hear that and I hope that you'll get better soon. Take care little one, promise? I hope that they look after you.  
How's your mother? Did you hear anything from Charlie or Bill lately? If I had brothers so far away, I would also be worried about their wellbeing. We are going back to England a week earlier. We can't really enjoy our vacation here anyway. My Mum thinks that every wizard we meet is a Deatheater and therefore we have to stay inside most of the time. It's making me crazy.  
  
Do you think Hogwarts will be different this year? I wonder if there are going to be visits to Hogsmade or a Quidditch Cup. But I seriously doubt it. It will change a lot but I hope that you'll have a good fourth year anyway. I'm pretty sure that Dumbledore will protect the school as good as possible. He'll take care of you.  
  
What are the twins going to do next year? I think they really should open a magic-tricks-store. We'll all need a good laugh with the events that the next year will have in store for us.  
  
I heard that the muggles are already getting suspicious. No wonder. In Hungary eight of them got killed along with the three witches. I read a long article about it in the French newspaper one week ago. I didn't understand everything (French is a really difficult language!!).  
Do you think that one day muggles will know about magic? Do you think magical and non-magical people can live together peacefully? I remember one night I helped you with one of your essays on English-muggle school system. It's strange that wizards know such a lot about them and their customs and they know nothing about Hogwarts, the ministry, Quidditch and that stuff. They don't even know about the Dark Lord. They are all in danger and they don't even know it.  
  
Can't you imagine a life without the story of you-know-who and the boy who lived? No muggle knows about it. By the way, did you or Ron hear anything from Harry? How does he feel now that Voldemort is back?  
  
So, next time I get a letter from you I'll most likely will already be back home and you hopefully won't be sick anymore.  
  
Get well soon,  
xxx  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So, how's Harry?  
Will the muggles get to know 'bout magic?  
Will Ginny learn how to handle her brothers?  
  
Plz review or write me a mail (lucia_at2001@yahoo.de) 


	5. cartoons and sisters?!

Note: Oh, I so love keeping you guessing!!! I wanted to reveal who it is in this letter, but I ain't sure yet.... we'll see. But I promise some hints!  
  
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They are getting suspicious. George nearly stole your last letter from me. It's a good thing you don't sign them, otherwise I could never live it down. Oh, I wouldn't stand the teasing!! Why can't they just leave me alone? In their opinion I'm just a little girl without a clue about anything. Why is that? I mean, you also are older than I am and you treat me.... I don't know how to put it in words.... you treat me with much more respect than they do.  
I mean, it's different with Bill and Charlie. When they left home I was a little kid, I never really got to know them. Charlie simply avoids me when he's at home (I think he's afraid that he'll break my bones when he touches me) and Bill just has no clue about young girls!  
  
I sometimes wish that at least one of them was a girl. It would be easier. But can you imagine a Ronaldine? Or Frieda and Georgia? Oh that would be hilarious!!! They'd be wearing make-up and would be gossiping about the boys they have a crush on. Oh my God!!!  
  
I'm getting better but Mum still won't let me get up. I'm bored out of my mind!!! I started drawing again, cartoons this time. Most of them are taking place at the Quidditch pitch at Hogwarts. You are in most of them as well as Harry and the twins. I'll probably send you one. They don't really have a plot but drawing them keeps me occupied, keeps me sane.  
Mum won't even let me read the Newspaper while I'm ill. She says that I should just think about getting better and nothing else.  
  
Are you already back from France? What are you going to do the rest of the holidays? Do you have any plans? Fred and George want to visit my uncle in Ireland next week. But of course Mum won't let them go because of, well, you know why. They are really mad and I'm really glad that I'm ill otherwise I'd have to go trough hell. Do you know how trick obsessed they are when they are mad? ...Of course you do.  
  
Hell, I just reread my letter. Is there anything more boring than this crap? I'm really sorry to bother you with my dull life. I bet you have more important things to worry about.  
  
Anyway,  
Love,  
Ginny  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Will her brothers find out who the mysterious person is? (I mean, we all know Fred and Gearge....)  
Will we find out about the person?  
Will Ginny get an answer after writing such a 'boring' letter?  
  
Thanks to Lilyanna for making me smile 'cause of her guesses and to Mariana for the woahh and wahhh!! Please review and tell me what you think people!!  
  
BTW, sorry about grammar/spelling mistakes. English isn't my first language, so..... 


	6. hi again

Note: Hi, here's the next letter and I hope you'll enjoy it. Oh, and there's still no name at the end of it so it's useless to scroll down. But I promise that there'll be a name in the next one.  
  
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Dear Gin,  
  
Your last letter sounded more cheerfully than the others. I'm glad about that because you had me worried for a moment.  
  
Since I'm back I can't stop thinking about the future. My future that is. I never really thought about it. I guess all the thinking comes when you are grown up. Sometimes I wish I could be 10 again. I still remember what it was like, being all nervous about going to Hogwarts, wondering in which house the sorting hat would put me.  
And then when I first entered the train and met all these people. You know, I never was shy and so I just talked to the first person I met. It was a 7th year Hufflepuff girl called Doris. We became sort of friends and that was a good thing because she was pretty popular and beautiful (but I didn't thought about it back than, I was just a kid). Anyway, as the others found out about our friendship they were really impressed. Even the older boys. You can't imagine how popular I got overnight!  
  
What do you think the next year will be like for these who are starting at Hogwarts? They won't be as carefree as I used to be. And they won't get to know the famous Weasley-pranks. What a pity.  
No, let's get serious again, I wonder if all muggle-born will come back this year. I mean if I was a muggle and heard about all these deatheater attacks I wouldn't send my child to school anymore. I'd be too afraid that one of their classmates has deatheater parents. Have you ever thought about it?  
  
I mean, we don't really know who's a deatheater and who isn't. Your best friend's father could be one. The thought is pretty scaring, don't you think?  
  
Tell your twin brothers that they should leave you alone. What we are writing is none of their business. But I was surprised that you didn't tell them that it's me you are writing to. What's up Gin, being ashamed of me?  
But I know that you like it this way. I remember back at Hogwarts you'd only talk to me freely when we were alone. You avoided me during the days and at night we were friends again. I have to admit that I was quiet irritated at first but I guess I got sort of used to it.  
  
So little one, I'm going to bed now.  
Write soon,  
xxx  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
School's starting soon, what will happen there?  
Is Ginny really well again?  
What will she say about the mysterious frindship back at Hogwarts?  
  
  
Thanks to Athena (girl, you are an awfully good writer and I so love your stories!!!) and Lilyanna (You reviewed twice!!! I feel so special!!). Please keep reviewing people! 


	7. Her brothers' friends

Note: Finally!!! The mysterious letter-writer is reviled!!! What do you say now?  
  
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Tomorrow I'll be going back to school. What will I be doing without you? I will be very lonely without you, you know? I was glad that you were there for me, at least during the nights. And I'm really sorry about avoiding you during the days, I didn't mean to upset you.  
  
But you know what it would have been like, don't you? Oh, I can hear them gossiping "I don't know what's wrong with Ginny Weasley. She can't stop bothering her brothers' friends. First she follows Harry Potter around like a puppy and now she annoys Lee Jordan." I didn't need these kind words. I liked to pretend that you really care for me and I didn't want them to destroy this illusion.  
  
I mean, you aren't just 'someone'. You are Fred and George's best friend and the most popular Quidditch commentator Hogwarts ever had. Or at least that's what they think of you. And when they think of me, they think of the small red-haired girl, the little sister of Bill or Charlie or Percy or George and Fred or Ron, the pest.  
  
So please, please promise me to never tell anyone about these letters. It's really important Lee, so please.......  
  
You say that you are worried about your future but I'm sure everything will be okay. You'll make the right choice, I'm sure of it. What about becoming DADA teacher? - But that's probably not so good 'cause they always get into trouble after only one year.  
  
Today we got an owl from Bill. He says that he's alright and that we shouldn't worry about him. Mum cried but I'm not so sure why. At first I thought it was because she was happy that he was alright but her tears were sad tears, not happy ones. I couldn't bear the sight. I felt helpless and so did Dad. He just stood there and looked like a little boy. I wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was fine but that was when I remember that nothing was fine. I remembered that there's a war and that people die everyday.  
And then I wanted to be hugged and being told that everything was alright. But nobody did that. Is it selfish of me to think these thoughts? There are so many people who need much more support than I do. Am I a bad person?  
  
I hope that this feeling will pass, that I'll be okay again, but what if I won't?  
  
Take care,  
Love,  
Ginny  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Back at Hogwarts, what then?  
Will Lee be able to help Ginny?  
Will her brothers finally realise that something is bothering her?  
  
PLEASE R&R I WANT TO KNOW YOUR OPINION!!!! (You can also write a mail to: lucia_at2001@yahoo.de)  
Oh and go read my new one part fic THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT!!! 


	8. Go fightin'

Note: I'm back and I hope you'll read and review!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dear Ginny,  
  
I wrote to you that I worry about my future, that I didn't know what I'll be doing now that I've finished school. I don't have a choice anymore. Today I got a letter from the Ministry of Magic and they want me to fight in Belgium. I'm sure you heard about the first big battle in Denmark. They are not sure if we won or if we lost it. It was the first real fight and both sides were too surprised to fight at all.  
  
Anyway, they are worried and I got a letter that I'm going to be a solder. They didn't asked me to become one, they ordered me. I'm still shocked and my Mum hasn't stopped crying since then. My Dad says that I should give my best and make him proud. It's not that I don't want to fight against the dark side but I want to have a choice and I don't think that violence is the right way to handle this "situation".  
  
Please don't stop writing to me, I'll need something to look forward to when I'm in Belgium.  
I'm afraid Ginny, I've never been afraid like that.  
  
So how is it back at Hogwarts? What does Dumbledore say about the war? I wished I could be there instead of being a soldier. Hell, just last year, everything was fine. I went to school on the Hogwarts-Express, played tricks on the teachers and laughed in the common room.  
  
When I was little my grandmother told me about the "dark times back then". They all praised the boy who lived and were glad that Voldemort was gone. Nobody thought that he would come back one day. Not even after all these things that have happened at Hogwarts. Harry meeting you-know-who and you being taken to the chamber.  
  
I thought I'd finish school, get myself a nice job and marry one day. I love little children, you know? I wanted to have three or four kids, a nice wife and a small house near London. I never needed adventures, just a little fun from time to time.  
  
But I'm going to be a soldier and who knows for how long? This war could last for months or years or forever. And what will happen if we loose? I don't want my children to grow up in a world where the dark side tells them what to do. In a world where Voldemort has the power.  
  
Tell everyone at Hogwarts that I say hello (or don't, because if you do, you'd have to answer a lot of questions). But tell Ron that he has to take care of you. You are a really special person and you should be treated like a princess.  
Write soon,  
xxx  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Will the war ever end?  
Is Lee really going to Belgium?  
What will Ginny tell about living at Hogwarts?  
  
Please leave feedback!! I really want to know what you think!! 


	9. nauseous

Note: This fic is getting sadder and sadder every time and I just can't stop it!! Thanks to Bridgie for her nice review.  
  
  
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It's after midnight and I'm sitting in the common room like we always used to. But it's damn cold without you.  
  
I got your letter today at breakfast. I remember being thrilled about it and I just had to open it right then and there. Oh, I just wish I hadn't. Reading about you going to Belgium made me feel sick and I ran to the toilette and vomited. That's so not like me!  
  
Of course Ron saw me running out of the great hall and followed me. I really appreciated that he was there to calm me down but after I felt a bit better he said that I had to give him your letter. I told him that it was none of his business and that made him angry, no furious.  
  
He shouted at me and said that I should stop being a silly little girl. You know how much I hated being called a little girl. So I just went off, hiding in the owlery.  
I know that he just wants to protect me, but that's so not what I want, need, right now.  
  
How are you? When will you be going to Belgium? They can't do that, can they? I mean they are forcing you to be a soldier but you were never one to fight! I just can't imagine you being a soldier in the war. You are such a loving, caring person, you aren't a fighter!  
  
Damn, I'm getting nauseous again.  
  
You talked about family and a normal future and I want you to know that I hope that you'll get that one day. When the war is over, everything will turn out fine, I'm sure.  
  
Sorry that it's so short.  
Love,  
Ginny  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
No questions asked, author is about to cry. (Can you picture Ginny sitting in the dark common room, writing this letter?!)  
  
PLEASE R&R!!!!! 


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